DIAL AN INSULT having a bad day? it's about to get worse DIAL AN INSULT Call 1-555-INSULT 2 for the first minute 1 for every additional minute (beatbox a breakdown) Anyways, this morning I walked to my job Lunchbox in hand feeling the cool warm breeze Answer a few calls with my best 'sults Then on my lunch break my boss gives my my pink slip and says "Hey dude, your phone line sucks No one calls it so I'm letting you go" I go back home where my wife hands me a divorce proceeding Ah crap DIAL AN INSULT She took the house DIAL AN INSULT Timmy, stay in school! DIAL AN INSULT Now I have no job, no house Have to live in an alleyway But it's outside a Burger King and I found a thing of raw eggs So I went to my bosses place I snuck up around the back I began to attack, but he caught me Called the police Now I gotta do community service DIAL AN INSULT Can't you guys say anything else NO WE CANNOT Why not!? THEY'LL FIRE US So you still have your jobs? STOP WITH THE BACKTALK Ok. After my tenure of picking up garbage in the park I went to the nearest bridge Jumped off Landed on a cruise ship Got knocked out Woke up the next day On the shores of New Orleans During Mardi Gras Looks like my life is turning around Life's a party Havin a blast When the police caught me Sayin 'come out with your hands up, murderous scum" DIAL AN INSULT what d you mean, "murderous scum?" DIAL AN INSULT Can someone tell me what's going on? DIAL AN INSULT Please just stop talking DIAL AN INSULT That has nothing to do with my current situation (beatbox solo) Turns out my deadbeat dad Once went to Mardi Gras, killed a guy, went on the run from the law Turns out I look identical to him Locked in a cell Silence abounds Holy crap This is where my life ends Stuck in a concrete building Rain falling through the cracks in the ceiling This is where the road ends. DIAL AN INSULT You got locked in too? WE TRIED TO BREAK YOU.. OUT You did that for me DIAL AN INSULT Ok, this is getting annoying DIAL AN INSULT Can you even hear me DIAL AN INSULT I hate my life DIAL AN INSULT DIAL AN INSULT DIAL AN INSULT CALL 1-555-2-INSULT

It's the Freak Phone and here's the party freak Freddy Freaker a new joking sensation Call 1-500-490-FREAK Wait, wait, stop the music Jim, why did you just sing FREDDY FREAKER like that- WOAH. Why did I say it like that? I'm the bassist, let me try ahem FREDDY FREAKER Welp, looks like I can't say it any other way either. Alright, good thing all producers have a speed dial for hypnotists. Why? Because I'm pretty sure this isn't a medical thing. No, I mean, why speed dial hypnotists? How else do we think we get you to obey our every command Alright, I am Dr. Q U Ack. I hear you're shooting an ad? Wow, how did he come here so quickly? He only lives like, 4 houses down. Anyways, yeah, I can't sing the name of our mascot without sounding like Mariah Carey. Alright, here we go, can you sing the name of your mascot? Ok, ahem. F R E D D Y F R E A K E R Hmm, quite peculiar. Let me try my self. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Oh. Hmm, this is odd. Let me try hypnotising you. You can say F R E D D Y F R E A K E R normally. You can say Fr3DDY Fr34K3r without sounding like a diva. When I snap my fingers, you will speak normally. Alright. Let's try again. It's the Freak Phone and here's the party freak FGHJKLZXCVBNMRTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMDFGHJKLZXCVBNMDFGHJKLZXCVBNMYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMFGHJKLZXCVBNMRTYUIPASDFGHJLZXBNMEERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVGBNM Nope, still doesn't work. I think you should call a doctor. Dr. Q U Ack, out. Hello, I am Normal Doctor Death. The last name is a coincidence. Anyways, the hypnotist that just came out here said you cannot say FREDDYFREAKER normally? Wow, even works on me. Here, let's take a look at that throa- Oh god! What's this yellow thing AHH, IT'S ON MY FACE! HELLO. I AM FREDDY FREAKER. I AM THE LORD AND MASTER OF THE FREAK PHONE. BOW DOWN TO MY SUPERIOR INTELLECT. ALL OF YOU HAVE A TINY FREDDY FREAKER INSIDE. SOMEDAY ALL OF THOSE FREAKERS WILL JUMP OUT AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD. I WON'T SAY WHEN. JUST DO NOT SPEAK MY NAME. DIAL 1-500-490-FREAK, OR YOU DON'T WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

I sleep inside a box Which I know sounds weird but it's the truth I have a pillow and a flashlight and a few books and nothing else It's a metaphor to make this song sound smarter than it actually is yeah!

My son arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away and he was talking 'fore I knew it and as he grew He said "I'm gonna be like you, dad You know I'm gonna be like you" And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon Little Boy Blue tongued a cow on the moon "When ya comin home, dad I don't know when We'll get together then Y'know we'll have a good time then" My son came in just the other day Said "I broke my leg playing football with my friends Can you take me to the ER" I said, not today I got a lot on my plate he said "What the hell" and he limped away as a growl formed on his face saying "I hate that bastard Y'know I hate that bastard" And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon Little Boy Blue tongued a cow on the moon "I hope you never come home from work today, Dad Because you suck at parenting You suck at parenting" My son came in just the other day Said "I fell on my friend's Swiss Army Knife It's a huge puncture Take me to the hospital I said "Big deal. I'm gonna go out bar hopping for the day Expect me to come home sauced Expect me to come home sloshed And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon Little Boy Blue tongued a cow on the moon He came home with stitches, cursing me out And he hates my guts He hates my guts. My son came in just the other day Said "I cracked my skull running on the path Take me to the ER" I said "Not today I'm gonna watch the game with some pals from work, Just go home Rest up in your bed You'll be OK You will be OK" And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon Little Boy Blue tongued a cow on the moon His mom took him to Emergency Care He was D.O.A yes He was D.O.A My son's funeral was just the other day I admitted to all the things I shrugged off The cops took me away Locked me in a cell With some phone operator Who got fired from his job And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon Little Boy Blue tongued a cow on the moon Well, I'm fricked I hate my life My son was right yeah I'm a horrible parent

Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party 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BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Party with the bear at BIRTHDAY WORLD Wanna know a secret at BIRTHDAY WORLD It's a money laundering scheme at BIRTHDAY WORLD You see I take your parents in the back at BIRTHDAY WORLD Sharpen my meat cleaver at BIRTHDAY WORLD Slice off their heads at BIRTHDAY WORLD Skin the rest of the body at BIRTHDAY WORLD Fry it up in a pan at BIRTHDAY WORLD chop it up on a slab of wood at BIRTHDAY WORLD put it on a pizza at BIRTHDAY WORLD serve it to the kids at BIRTHDAY WORLD wait until the place closes at BIRTHDAY WORLD keep my bear suit on and GET IN MY CAR Go grab a bottle at THE LIQUOR STORE Go take a drive while DRINKING IT Crash my car into a pole AND RUN AWAY Kick over a few headstones AT THE CEMETARY take your parent's skeletons AND BURY THEM walk the rest of the way home TO MY DINGY HOUSE Go settle in MY DINGY HOUSE Turn on a crappy network ON PIRATED CABLE Grab a needle and shoot up IN MY BASEMENT Pass out high on the floor IN MY DINGY HOUSE Wake up feeling weird IN MY DINGY HOUSE Make myself spiked coffee IN MY DINGY HOUSE Watch Futurama reruns IN MY DINGY HOUSE Put on my bear suit IN MY DINGY HOUSE Rent a new car AT THE DEALERSHIP Drive it to the place WHICH IS BIRTHDAY WORLD The whole thing starts again AT BIRTHDAY WORLD The bounces are insane! The food is never lame AT BIRTHDAY WORLD!!

east hills for back to school denim haircut backpacks backpacks come getcho backpacks boots n pants n boots n pants haircut new shoes come get yourself an outfit denim wait wait, stop the song Jane, why did you come in so late? I dunno. I just came in late. Well, we'll start this again, ok. east hills for back to school denim haircut backpacks backpacks come getcho backpacks boots n pants n boots n pants haircut new shoes come get yourself an outfit alright, you came in even later. I dunno, I'm just never able to stay on time. Alright, we'll do it louder. east hills for back to school denim haircut backpacks backpacks come getcho backpacks boots n pants n boots n pants haircut new shoes come get yourself an outfit alright, you still came in even later. Maybe it would help if you did it in a silly voice! Alright, we'll sing it using british accents. east hills for back to school denim haircut backpacks backpacks come getcho backpacks boots n pants n boots n pants haircut new shoes come get yourself an outfit alright, listen. I am the "haircut" lady, and I consider myself to be a perfectionist. So if you come in late ONE MORE TIME, I WILL KILL YOU. ALRIGHT? alright. east hills for back to school denim haircut backpacks backpacks come getcho backpacks boots n pants n boots n pants haircut new shoes ALRIGHT, YOU ASKED FOR IT LADY NO STOP YOU CAN'T SHE DESERVES IT FOR KEEPING ME HERE FOR SO DAMN LONG CHILL OUT HAIRCU- DON'T CALL ME HAIRCUT Alright, I'll just do the ending. So get yourself back to school at east hills I STABBED THAT BI-

Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree Where we can gaze upon the water As an everlasting dream All of my affections I give them all to you Maybe by next summer We won't have changed our tunes I still want to be In this place beside the sea Making up new numbers And living so merrily All of my affections I give them all to you I'll be here for you always And always be for you Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Living so merrily